Lost Without Him
by OfcourseI'maprincess
Summary: Two years after the end of the war, Mai and Zuko struggle with their on-and-off relationship. When one of their friends gets involved, will they break up for good?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I originally wrote this for an Avatar RP. ****Mai and Zuko's relationship is suffering because they are constantly fighting, and don't spend much time together anymore.**

**Setting: Palace in Caldera (Fire Nation Capital) Zuko invited some friends to visit the Fire Nation, and they are all relaxing after a day out.**

** All Avatar characters belong to Bryke, whom I worship with every fiber of my being~**

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

**Mai's POV**

"I don't want sex anymore," Zuko announced tiredly.

Almost more clearly than she saw the shocked expressions on her friends' faces, she felt the tension in the room tangibly jump. Her chest tightened painfully; she didn't know what to think.

"Oh?" she managed to say, keeping her voice level. "Okay." _I will not react_, Mai told herself. _I will remain calm. This means nothing to me. It doesn't change our relationship._

"Good. It's settled, then," Zuko grumbled, scratching the back of his neck. His eyes avoided contact with hers, as if he couldn't handle even looking at her.

She nodded stiffly, crossing her arms. Instead of a nonchalant gesture meant to convey lack of interest, it seemed - to her, at least - defensive; like she had to hug herself to keep from breaking down. The glare she wished she could pin on him, she aimed at the wall past his shoulder instead. "Whatever. I'm hungry, I'll be back."

Sheepishly, Zuko asked, "Can you… bring a sandwich for me?"

Mai bit her lip, keeping her angry retort inside. Mastering herself, she answered without bothering to look at him. "Of course, Fire Lord."

Normally, she refrained from calling him that unless they were fighting, or teasing each other. However, she couldn't call this a fight…it felt more like an impass.

Ignoring everyone elses' presence, she stalked into the kitchen. In a brief attempt to bring order to her mind, she placed her hands on the counter and stared into space. The litany "he doesn't want you anymore, he doesn't love you anymore," refused to stop repeating in her mind. She didn't know what to do, or how to handle Zuko's statement.

Since they had started dating…and before then, Mai knew that he was a very emotional person, that he felt things intensely; but that he was more likely to blow up and rage over something little and stupid than actually confront the real problem. He attempted to show his feelings for her through extreme jealousy and stupid gestures. At some point, the gestures - packing a romantic picnic for lunch, fetching her an ice cream that she hadn't even asked for - stopped.

Then, she had told herself to feel grateful, rather than worried and disappointed. After all, she didn't have to put up with his embarassing, goofy behavior…. Inside, though, she couldn't help but wonder. Slowly, she had felt herself becoming distant from him…but she couldn't tell if it had been through her doing, or his.

When they were together intimately, at least _then _she felt like he still wanted her. During those special, beautiful moments, she knew he loved her. Now, he was taking that away, too. Why…How? How could he deny her something that meant so much to her? Something that brought her peace? Was he trying to tell her something, without actually having to say it?

…Did he want to break up? For real? For good?

Would he rather have Jin…or Song…or Katara…even Toph…? Wasn't she good enough to keep him interested? What was she doing wrong? Or was it something she couldn't fix, like her appearance? Her personality? She had always questioned whether or not she deserved someone like Zuko; someone important, and good, and breathtakingly perfect.

If he no longer wanted to be with her, she couldn't let him stay with her. She refused to hold him back. If he needed to leave her, she'd let him. If he didn't love her anymore, she would have to learn to let him go…even if he was the only one she ever loved, ever would love….

It would be for him. _At least _he _would have the chance to find happiness_, she consoled herself. In the end, he mattered more to her than anything else. He always had, and probably always would.

She fell to her knees beside the counter, her hands splayed on the hard, cool tile of the floor, her head hanging. Tears burned her eyes, and for once, she let them go without retribution, watching solemnly as they dripped from her face to pool on the floor. Choking back sobs, she sat there, praying that no one would come looking for her.

If someone saw her like this….

"I hate him…." she whispered. "I hate him for making me feel this way." She broke off into another sob. "I hate him for making me feel."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: The second chapter switches to Haru's POV. My friend, and fellow RPer, wrote this. We collab-ed the first half of this story, and any chapter written by him will state clearly in the author note. The context is that when Mai first met Haru, she was broken up with Zuko. Haru was interested in her and tried to hit on her, but she shut him down and quickly reunited with Zuko. However, Zuko frequently got jealous of their growing friendship and more often than not threatened to set him on fire.**

**Avatar and its characters belong to my beloved Bryke.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

**Haru's POV**

Haru had always felt uncomfortable in the Fire Lord's Palace.

It had nothing to do with the Fire Lord himself, rest assured. Even though he and Zuko did have their misunderstandings - especially over Mai - the scarred prince was someone Haru considered a friend, if not a very close acquaintance. And although he'd rather die than admit this to Zuko's face, the young earthbender could not help but admire Zuko, for he was a fair and just ruler. He promised he'd help rebuild the Earth Kingdom, healing the scars left by his father and his forefathers, and he'd kept that promise.

No, Zuko was not the reason for the discomfort Haru felt as he wandered through the palace halls. It was just something that couldn't be helped. As an Earthbender, he was inherently free-spirited. Living in chains and behind boundaries and walls was something that just didn't suit him, and the immense size of the palace and all its multiple pillars and columns and walls and corridors couldn't help but make him feel slightly claustrophobic. It was suffocating wandering through a structure so huge and majestic and complex.

That, and the fact that he almost always got lost in here.

He had left Mai and the others in one of the common rooms and ducked out to get a bit of fresh air. Now that he was back inside, he couldn't remember where exactly he'd come from. He'd been wandering for several minutes now, and his frustration was rising by the second.

"This is humiliating," he muttered, turning yet another corner. If he had his way, he'd just punch his way through all the walls until he found them. But of course, he wasn't naturally destructive, and he really didn't need another fight with Zuko, so that was never really an option. Besides, the Fire Lord seemed to be more and more on edge as of late, and Haru suspected he knew why…. He and Mai seemed to be fighting more than usual, getting into irrepressible shouting matches that steadily increased in tension, length and frequency, and Haru didn't like it. He knew the two of them loved each other to bits; the problem was they themselves didn't seem to believe that.

And, suddenly, he was in the kitchen.

Haru blinked several times, and then sighed. Another wrong turn. Spirits, his sense of direction was horrible. Maybe punching through the walls _was _the best option right about now…

"I hate him…"

And now he was hearing voices. Perfect.

Wait…

"I hate him for making me feel this way." This sentence was punctuated by a sob. Haru stepped further into the room, his eyes scanning the place. The voice sounded an awful lot like Mai. "Mai…?" his voice was barely above a whisper. He doubted she heard it. Mai was … was she crying? His heart tightened at the possibility. He loved Mai as one of his closest friends...but she had always seemed so strong. Not once had he ever seen her stoic disposition falter so much that she cried...

"I hate him for making me feel."

His eyes alighted upon her fragile form. She was kneeling beside the counter, her hands splayed on the cool marble, her shoulders trembling. His eyes widened in panic and disbelief and a whole lot of other emotions, and he was at her side in seconds, kneeling next to her.

"Mai!" without thinking, Haru gingerly cupped her face and turned it, so the two of them were eye-to- eye. Pale tears slid down her cheeks as she looked back at him, her beautiful eyes bright and stained. It broke his heart to see her so hopeless, so fragile.

"Mai," his voice dropped to a softer, albeit still urgent, tone. "Mai, what's wrong?" Gently, he brushed away the tears that still threatened to fall.


	3. Chapter 3

**Avatar: The Last Airbender and it's characters belong to Bryke**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

**Mai's POV**

It had taken her a moment to realize someone had joined her.

"Mai!" shouted a shocked Haru. She winced at the sudden sound.

Finally awakened from her numbing contemplation, her awareness heightened. The marble stone beneath her chilled her fingers, the tight fabric of her dress' bodice made it hard to breathe, and the horrified look on her friend's face deepened the ache she felt in her soul.

Mai tensed. More than anything, she wanted to leap to her feet and flee the room. To avoid Haru's penetrating, concerned stare, she turned her face away from him. Hunched over as she was, her thick black bangs hung down to obscure her tear-filled eyes. Only adding to her mortification, she blushed. Spirits curse her for cracking in a moment of weakness! Crying meant nothing. Time wasted venting stupid emotions helped no one; she knew that, had known it for years.

No one, save Zuko and Ty Lee, had actually seen her at times like this, when she completely broke down, her soul openly baring the pain that she normally kept hidden so well…and one of them was the only person she had ever met that possessed the awful power to bring her to such a state.

In that moment, with Haru staring at her with such heartbreaking pity in his eyes, she hated herself. She hated how vulnerable she had become. The girl Haru saw crying on the floor, the girl with the broken heart, was not the strong, cynical, calm one he - and everyone else - was familiar with. Mai couldn't stomach it. Feeling absurd and agitated, she prepared to brush off his concerns as easily as she wiped away her tears. With a deep breath, she braced herself, ready to shut him out the same way she managed to distance herself from everyone else. Somehow, he noticed. He realized what she was doing. To stop her, he fell to his knees beside her, wrapping his arms around her in a fiercely protective hug.

Mai never felt more grateful. Though it pained her to admit it, she needed someone to help her hold it together. The solid, strong arms encircling her kept her in one piece, preventing her from crumbling to pieces all over again.

His hand cupped her face as she raised hers to dash away the stupid tears that she shouldn't have allowed to fall in the first place. When Haru beat her to it, gently smoothing away the droplets with coarse thumbs, she froze, tilting her face up to see him better. "Mai," he repeated, this time quiet. "Mai…what's wrong?"

Suddenly, the ache in her chest at the thought of breaking up with Zuko flared savagely, and she had to bite her lip hard to keep herself in check. Swallowing quickly, she forced the pain down. Once she had mastered her emotions again, she tried to explain how the most important thing in her life, her relationship with Zuko, had fallen apart.

"Haru…. Things…things have been hard," Mai began haltingly, hoping that she could make enough sense of the mess to explain it. "We fight constantly, I'm always doing something wrong, there are other girls…" She paused briefly to shake her head. "He doesn't care anymore."

She shrugged as if it didn't matter, but the despair in her amber eyes said differently. Of course, Haru noticed - she saw it in his expression. "I need to do what's best for the both of us. He won't just dump me, he's too loyal, too kind to do that. He loves his honor more than he loves me... That's the only thing keeping us together. I... I have to end things myself."

"Mai-" he started, but she cut him off. Hearing a rebuttal would only soften her resolve.

"No. I need to stop fooling myself. He may have loved me at one point, but he doesn't anymore. All he does is fool around with my emotions, because he knows he's the only one that can." Looking back to the floor, she finished in a whisper, "I hate that he makes me feel like I'm not good enough."

Gently, he turned her face towards him again. A new ferocity blazed in his normally cheerful green eyes when he assured her, "You're good enough. No; _too good_. He doesn't deserve a girl like you."

Flushing pink at the unexpected compliment, Mai blinked. "Too…good?" she repeated.

He nodded sharply, his mouth tight. Mai relaxed in his embrace, leaning into him for support. At least with her head on his chest, he couldn't see the raw emotions flitting across her face.

Suddenly, a noise pricked at her ears. It sounded far-off, but approaching rapidly. She heard footsteps, long, sharp, and decisive. They were as familiar to her as her own. Haru must have felt her stiffen because he muttered, "M-Mai?" as if waking from a daze.

Urgently, she brought her hands up to his chest, propping herself up so that their faces were level. Widening her eyes meaningfully, she whispered, "Zuko."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: This chapter was written by my friend and fellow RPer, Rei, and was edited by me. This is the last chapter he contributed to the story. After this, everything was written and edited by me, regardless of the character's POV.**

**Avatar: The Last Airbender and its characters belong to Bryke.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

**Haru's POV**

It was heartbreaking, seeing her like this. Seeing her in this state.

Mai was one of the strongest, proudest people he knew. Rarely did she let anything get to her. Her emotions were always in check, her disposition always stable. Steady. She was always cool, calm and collected, as opposed to her boyfriend, Zuko, who blew up over the slightest thing.

And Haru had always admired her for that. Spirits, it was one of the things that attracted him to her in the first place.

The woman crumpled up on the floor, sobbing as though her heart had been wrenched in two … this wasn't the Mai he knew. Whatever had happened had to be extreme, to have brought her to this. To have brought her to her knees. All Haru could do was wrap his arms around her, offering her his strength. That was all he was really good at, to be honest. Physical comfort. He was horrible when it came to giving advice and solving problems. When things like this happened – although they did happen rarely – he let his actions do the talking.

As she shakily began talking, Haru could feel his emotions mix and jumble and rise. A part of him was horrified to know that things had gotten this bad. Of course, Mai and Zuko had arguments, and he knew they had a history of breaking up and then getting back together again, but this time, it seemed really serious. The more she talked, the more he could feel her breaking apart. Another part of him felt righteous anger at Zuko. Haru knew he loved Mai immensely; what he just didn't get was why Zuko had so much trouble showing that to her. But then again, from what he had gleaned over the years, Zuko had always taken Mai and her unwavering love and loyalty for granted.

_ "I need to do what's best for the both of us." _His eyes widened. Mai, trying to put on a brave front, continued. "_He won't just dump me, he's too loyal, too kind to do that. He loves his honor more than he loves me. That's the only thing keeping us together. I have to end things myself."_

He tried. He tried to talk her out of it; to convince her that this wasn't what she really wanted. Zuko was her happiness. He didn't get how she could just end it right there.

Mai shook her head. And there it was again. The feelings she had been keeping bottled in, the emotions she never told anyone for Spirits knows how long, all coming out in a whispered, breathless rush. The insecurities, the uncertainties, the fear. The longing. The sadness.

_ "I hate that he makes me feel like I'm not good enough."_

"You're good enough. No; _too good_. He doesn't deserve a girl like you."

Her eyes widened at that statement, and Haru knew he'd said something she'd needed to hear. She collapsed into him, and he welcomed her. He held her like that, allowing her to let go. To stop being the strong, brave woman everyone knew, and to just be herself. Caught up in her emotions for probably the first time in her life, she clung to him, and he held her, listening to her soft, silent tears.

And they stayed that way, for what seemed like forever.

Suddenly, it shattered. Footsteps, and Mai's body suddenly jerked. Haru was taken aback, and he pulled away slightly to get a good look at her. Her eyes widened in alarm, and her mouth formed one word that explained everything.

"_Zuko._"

At first, of course, there was the fear and the alarm. It didn't take long, though, for those two emotions to evolve into indignant anger. Haru wasn't scared of Zuko, and he saw no reason why he couldn't feel protective and furious on Mai's behalf. She was, after all, one of his closest friends. Someone he damn well loved. Anyone who hurt her was seriously asking for it.

Haru stood up, just as Zuko's imposing frame filled the doorway. Beside him, Mai stayed on the ground, twisting so Zuko saw only her back, and not her tear-stained face. Upon seeing the two of them together, the Fire Lord's golden eyes widened in obvious surprise, just before narrowing into his patented venomous glare. Haru, for his part, was not impressed. He returned the glare with just as much ferocity, his mouth set in a grim, determined line.

"You." Zuko spat out, his voice laced with hate. "What are you doing here?"

The young Earthbender narrowed his eyes as well. He didn't feel like answering questions. Not tonight. "I could ask you the same thing, _Prince _Zuko," he said, his voice cold. "Did you come looking for Mai? Did you come to apologize?"

Before Zuko could answer, Haru stepped forward, his rage towards the scarred teen steadily rising.

"Do you even still _care_?"

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><p><strong>AN: The next chapter will be up within a few days, by Sunday at the latest. More than likely, it will be from Zuko's POV, then Mai's, before jumping back to Haru. Thanks for reading!<strong>


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